


Bottom of the Bargain Bin

by DoubleDebiru



Series: Devilman Baby [2]
Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga)
Genre: A little angst, Fluff, Light Bondage, M/M, More Crying, Sappy Shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-03-23 11:48:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13787040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoubleDebiru/pseuds/DoubleDebiru
Summary: MTWBFone-shots.





	1. The Blue of the Ocean

The sun warmed Ryo’s face, turning the black of his eyelids an annoying red. He grumbled, leaning back in the passenger’s seat and tilting his head down.   
  
“Finally awake, sleepyhead?”   
  
Akira was gonna get it if he started teasing him. It wasn’t his fault that car trips often knocked him out almost as fast as the baby.   
  
“No.”   
  
“Hm. That’s too bad. I guess we’re gonna have to leave you here, then.”   
  
Oh, they weren’t moving. Ryo opened his eyes to find them stopped in a sandy parking lot, the blue of the ocean barely peeking over a nearby hill.   
  
The summer sun was shining, the week was finally over, and the two of them decided to take Kohei to the beach. He hadn’t seen the ocean before, so this would definitely be fun.   
  
He woke up when Akira took him out of his car seat, little green swim trunks already pulled over a waterproof diaper. But he wasn’t quite ready to go yet.   
  
Ryo rummaged through the diaper bag then had to sift through another before finding the sunscreen, a pink one meant for babies. He rubbed it into Kohei’s skin as he squirmed in Akira’s arms, making sure to get every little pudgy nook and cranny.   
  
At first, he didn’t seem to like it, whimpering and trying to get away, but it must’ve tickled, because he started giggling. Eventually, Ryo abandoned all pretense of applying sunscreen and tickled him all out. Akira got in on it, too, but when he tried to sneak a hand towards Ryo, he was caught and promptly smacked away.   
  
“Touch me, and you’re dead, Akira.”   
  
He grinned, picking up Kohei more firmly. “I guess no one’s getting your back, then.”   
  
He grinned back, smug that he had the upper hand. “I don’t need it there. I’m not even taking my shirt off, asshole.”   
  
He looked sheepish, shrinking a little back. “Oh, right. Sorry.”   
  
Was he too harsh? Maybe he shouldn’t have called him names, even in good fun. He kissed him on the cheek then ruffled Kohei’s hair. “You’re fine, Akira. Turn around, and I’ll get yours instead.”   
  
  
When they were ready to go, they set off towards the beach, baby and bags in tow. Thankfully, it wasn’t busy today despite the nice weather. Once they got set up, they took Kohei by the water and set him down on the dark sand.   
  
He toddled after them, grinning wide, little water shoes slapping the ground. When he almost tripped, Ryo grabbed him, swinging him around for a second before trudging into the water.   
  
It swept over his feet, icy cold and exhilarating, and he dunked Kohei halfway into it, feet-first. He shrieked with laughter and tried to curl up out of it. The ocean pulled back, and so did Ryo, not wanting to get splashed by a bigger wave.   
  
“Can I see him?”   
  
He passed him to Akira who proceeded to make like he was going to toss him out into the water. He stopped at the last second then did it again, and Ryo was going to kill him if he did it a third time.   
  
Luckily, no one ended up murdered or drowned. And it made Kohei laugh, so he’d let it slide.   
  
  
After playing some more, they walked down the shore with Kohei, looking for pretty rocks and shells. Ryo knew they would just sit somewhere at home and collect dust, but it was fun, and for some reason, it used to be his favorite thing to do at the beach when he was little.   
  
Kohei was too young to enjoy it, though. And Ryo didn’t want him picking up anything sharp. And he got tired of walking pretty fast, grabbing onto Akira’s leg and reaching to be picked up.   
  
“Ryo, do you wanna head back?” He bounced Kohei a little and glanced towards the spot they’d set up earlier.   
  
He nodded, thinking about their cooler of drinks. Not only was there a cold soda waiting for him, he’d also tossed a few plastic bags in there, knowing that he’d end up collecting a bunch of cool-looking garbage.   
  
*   
  
After they had dinner at a little ramen place, letting Kohei try some but mostly keeping him to baby things they’d brought, Ryo insisted on driving home.   
  
“It’s my turn. You drove earlier,” he’d said, but now he was drooping at the steering wheel, face red despite all the sunscreen.   
  
“Ryo?” Akira nudged him, and he jolted.   
  
“Yeah, what? I’m fine,” he blurted.   
  
“You’re falling asleep.” He kept his voice soft, not wanting to piss him off or wake up the baby. “Pull over.”   
  
He grumbled a bit before conceding and pulling over.   
  
Akira got out of the car, and he was about to walk over to the other side before something stopped him. They were in the outskirts of some town or another, not close to any streetlamps or much light at all. But something was coming towards him through the dark, he could hear the clumsy pattering of its feet.   
  
He squinted, bristling at the thought of a demon trying to ambush them.   
  
It came closer and closer, and Akira got closer and closer to freaking out.   
  
And suddenly, it was upon him. Out from the darkness came a warbling  _ mrow _ as a calico cat came barrelling towards him. Well, barrelling the best it could with a limp.   
  
He knelt down, and all the tension in his body melted away when it nudged his hand, soft and sweet.   
  
“Akira, what’s wrong?”   
  
He gently scooped it up and turned around. “We’re keeping her.”   
  
Ryo crossed his arms. “No.”   
  
“But she’s hurt, and she’s so sweet!” He took a step closer, having to stifle tears. He’d never met a cat this friendly before. Even Tako, the Makimuras’ cat. Though he was patient enough to tolerate costumes and pampering, he’d never snuggled right into his arms like a baby.   
  
“There’s no way I’m letting that thing in my car. It could have fleas or a disease or something. And what if it hurts Kohei or pisses in there?”   
  
Akira thought about how whenever Kohei saw Tako, he’d squeal in delight and try to pet or grab him, much to the cat's horror. Maybe he’d like this cat, too. “I’ll just hold her, Ryo, please!”   
  
  
It took some convincing, but the cat got to ride home in his lap, purring the whole way. She was small, barely more than a kitten, and they’d have to take her to the vet for a messed-up hind leg.   
  
“You’re paying for that. Vet bills, litter, food. We’re not supposed to have pets at the apartment, anyway.” Ryo had fully woken up, and though his tone was angry, he reached over a few times to pet her.


	2. Poor Little Angel

“Baby, don’t do that.” Akira had to catch Kohei’s little hands before they could plunge right into his mouth, fangs and all. He turned him towards Ryo and said, “Go stick them in Dad’s mouth, not mine.”

He brought him closer, but Ryo backed up, grinning.

“Nope. I have makeup on, Akira.” Sharply-winged eyeliner, dark eyeshadow, and even cherry-red lipstick matching the horns attached to his headband. Topped off with Akira’s favorite leather jacket and a red tail, he looked ethereal. Divine even, despite the devilish theme.

Miki and Miko invited them to a Halloween party, and they thought it would be cute if they matched. But honestly, Akira felt awfully plain standing next to his boyfriend, all in white, a halo on his head, and dinky little wings at his back.

When they were ready, they dropped Kohei off with Miki's parents. He didn’t have a real costume, but they dressed him in a little orange onesie with a jack-o-lantern pattern on it.

Akiko took a few pictures of them, and Ryo lent Kohei his headband. Fitting, seeing as he was such a little terror, crawling everywhere and trying to get into everything.

“Bye, baby! Be good! I’ll bring you back lots of candy!”

Ryo nudged him. “No you won’t. He can’t eat it.”

Miki was already at Miko’s house, so they headed straight over. Ryo stared out the window, too quiet for Akira’s liking. He let his hand trail over to his thigh and gave it a little squeeze.

“Is there something you want?” He seemed like he was about to brush Akira’s hand away, but instead, he rested his own on top of it.

“No, just making sure you’re alright.”

He looked away again. “I’ll be fine.”

He interlaced their fingers, moving his hand back on top. “But are you fine right now? We don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

Ryo sighed. “I want to. I’m just . . . nervous or something.”

“I’ll be with you the whole time. Just tell me if you want to leave early.”

It was supposed to be a small party, just a few friends, some snacks, maybe some booze, and shitty horror movies. Nothing requiring too much interaction, giving them the perfect chance to cuddle like the gross, practically-married couple they were.

Akira would have to ask him about dropping the ‘practically’ sometime soon.

Both Mikis greeted them at the door, dressed as witches. Makimura in black and purple, and Kuroda in black with white spiderwebs and lace.

“Aw, you look so cute! I’m glad you could make it!” Miki hugged both of them, making Ryo hilariously uncomfortable.

They led them inside, showing them around and introducing them to new friends. He recognized some from high school, but the girls must’ve met the rest at college.

After they got situated on the couch with a plate filled with probably too many snacks, Miki came back over, smiling like she was going to tease them.

“Hey, Akira? If you’re an angel and Ryo’s a demon, what does that make Kohei?”

“I dunno, um . . .?”

Ryo chimed in, “Totally fucked, I’d guess.”

Soon, the lights were dimmed, and the first movie was popped in. Ryo always liked horror movies more than he did. Even after merging with a demon, he hated jumpscares and was just easily frightened in general. Ryo took advantage of that sometimes, scaring the shit out of him when he walked into a room and laughing his ass off when he jumped or yelled at him.

As expected, he planted his face in Ryo’s shoulder whenever things got tense, not wanting to get caught by a jumpscare.

“Aw, poor little angel.” Ryo removed the headband that held up his halo, set it to the side, then stroked his hair. “Is the movie too scary for you?”

A challenge?

“No way,” he said, sitting back up. “I’ve seen way scarier shit before.”

His bravado faltered when the movie went silent. Nope. Fuck that. He knew exactly what was going to happen. Leaving to go to the bathroom and avoiding it was pretty tempting, but so was Ryo’s warmth at his side, leather jacket long since discarded, soft hands and bare arms and red lips that pressed stains into his face and neck.

Maybe he could try to calm down and -

BOOM!

He yelped, almost knocking away what was left of their plate of snacks. Though he wasn’t the only one who got spooked, he was teased the most for it. Ryo laughed at him, but Akira couldn’t get mad. At least he was having a good time.

And he looked so gorgeous, too. Red smeared a bit around his face, hair dishevelled and headband skewed from leaning against Akira, smile genuine and laugh musical. He wanted him to look like that forever, or maybe ruin it himself, pin him down and -

He flushed, derailing that train of thought and settling back into the seat. They could mess around later, when there weren’t any eyes on them and the irony of their costumes could be fully appreciated.

 

When the movie ended, Miko held up two different DVD cases and asked everyone to vote. Ryo pointed to the one on the left, and Akira smirked.

“I’m playing devil’s advocate for the night, and he says ‘left, please.’”

That pulled a few laughs and a light jab from Ryo.

As it started, Akira scooted even closer to him and closed his eyes. He was done with these stupid movies, and taking a nap with Ryo pressed against him sounded heavenly.

Too bad he was shaken awake all too soon.

“Devil’s advocate, go get me more food.”

He whined but got up and did it, grabbing the sweets he knew Ryo liked best.

When he turned to go back, he found Ryo at the doorway of the kitchen, looking down and shrinking a bit into himself.

“Hey, did something happen?” He set the plate down and came over.

He shook his head. “I’m just awkward, or stupid, or I dunno, or -” Oh no, he even stuttered.

“It’s okay. Come here.” He hugged him. “Do you wanna go home?”

Ryo pulled him closer. “No, I just want you there with me.

*

Ryo was alone, surrounded by unfamiliar faces, sitting on an unfamiliar couch. The warm spot Akira left was slowly fading, and he’d surely be back soon, but that knowledge didn’t stop him from curling into himself and trying harder to focus on the movie.

“Hey, you’re Fudo’s boyfriend, right? How’d you two meet?” A polite question, asked by someone whose eyes he couldn’t bring himself to meet.

His mouth went dry, the stories and explanations rolling over his tongue and bouncing around his head. Of course he knew how they met. They were childhood friends who met up again as teenagers. But he couldn’t answer. Every word he tried to start with felt stupid and inadequate, and the longer he floundered, the more tense and nervous he became.

When he couldn’t bear the attention or the shame any longer, he shot out of the room, looking for Akira. The rational part of his brain screamed at him that this was only drawing more attention to himself, that answering the question and not being such a fucking idiot about it would’ve been fine and normal.

But it was too late. He was already in the kitchen, looking at a confused Akira.

~

“Ryo, you’re not stupid.” They were in the car now, going to get Kohei.

He was about to snark back, ask him why he was hung up over that or insist that yes, of course he’s stupid. But he sighed, knowing that it wouldn’t help.

“I know. Sorry for saying stupid shit.”

“I want to help you, Ryo. I really, really do. But I can’t always be there.”

He wished he wasn’t such a burden on Akira, that he was just normal. “I know that.”

Like usual, this conversation didn’t go anywhere. Akira wanted him to get better, and Ryo promised that he’d try, but he’d tried so many times before. He knew deep down that he’d never change, that he’d inherently failed as a person, that his stupid, nonsensical brain would always pull him back under the water before he could reach the shore.

And besides, what could the shore have that he didn’t have here? Who needs friends and all the subsequent obligations when you have a family that loves you? It didn’t really matter if he fumbled sometimes with clients at work or servers at restaurants. It was difficult sometimes, lonely, too, but that’s how his life had always been.

Before he realized it, Akira parked the car and pulled him into his arms as he wept and let his rambling thoughts spill out.

“We’ll figure this out,” he told him, kind and gentle, and Ryo really fucking hoped it was true.


	3. Everything's Fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After _Sunny Days and Rain. ___

Ryo sat on the bed, trying to put Toshio to sleep again. As a tiny little newborn, he slept a lot but seemed to wake up way more often than Kohei had, if he remembered right.  
  
He glanced at the clock. The weariness weighing down on his eyelids and playing static in his head would have told him that it was two or three in the morning, but 11:35 burned red on its screen.  
  
The lights were out, and Akira lied beside him, unable to sleep, either. Neither of them could with the baby crying.  
  
But he was quiet, now. And it was only a matter of time before he’d fall asleep again.  
  
Ryo didn’t mind sleeping with him. In fact, it felt wonderful to hold someone that he loved close and keep them safe and warm in his arms. Also, he was comfortable, and he didn’t want to get up and put him in the crib only to go through this whole process again.  
  
He leaned back a little further, finally closing his eyes. He couldn’t have been happier to be home.  
  
It still fucked him up sometimes that he had a place to call home, that he was wanted and needed and loved. He didn’t know which part of him kept insisting that he didn’t deserve it, that he’d somehow ruin it, that it would all disappear without warning, but he wanted to take that part and throttle it until it told him something rational for once.  
  
The baby shifted against him, perfect little face nuzzling into his chest. His heart nearly burst, and he didn’t know if he was about to grin like an idiot or cry.  
  
Even if he didn’t deserve it, he’d sure as hell enjoy it while it lasted.  
  
~  
  
Toshio cried himself awake, along with his dads, at four in the morning. After changing him, Ryo tried to settle back down in bed, but the little thing had apparently decided that now was the perfect time to start their day.  
  
Frazzled, tired, and not mentally prepared to do that, he paced around with the baby held close, desperate to lull him back to sleep.  
  
Frustrated tears pricked at his eyes when it didn’t work. He was just about ready to concede and leave the room with him to grab something to eat, but Akira sat up and motioned for him to come back.  
  
“Do you want me to try?” A gentle whisper.  
  
Gratefully, he handed him over and slipped back into bed. He rested his head on Akira’s shoulder and felt more than heard his voice rumble as he talked. Nothing he could make out, probably just comforting nonsense.  
  
He swayed a little in place, unintentionally moving Ryo, too. But he didn’t mind at all. Of course he didn’t. He couldn’t complain when the man next to him _was_ his home.  
  
It was a sappy, stupid thought, and it wasn’t going to make him cry again. But he didn’t expect Akira to press a kiss to his temple.  
  
As always, it didn’t take long for him to notice. “Hey, what’s wrong?”  
  
He shook his head. “Nothing. I just love you so much.”  
  
Ryo didn’t look up at him, but he could practically hear him smiling when he said, “I love you, too. Go back to sleep, okay?”  
  
His first thought was that they’d just have to get up again in a few hours, anyway. But with a rush of relief, he remembered it was Saturday. He lied back down but couldn’t bring himself to move too far from Akira and the baby.  
  
~  
  
A nightmare he could barely remember the details of. Something about pain and blood, so much blood. Whose was it? Why was he so shaken and teary-eyed? Ryo had no idea until he heard his baby crying, and it all came flooding back.  
  
_Something was coming out of him. Something too big, too big, too big. It thrashed and writhed between his legs, threatening to split him right in half._  
  
_Akira wasn’t there, but he knew he was supposed to be. Where was he?_  
  
_Pain. Screaming. His vision clouded red._  
  
_Then everything was gone, but everything still hurt, and something so, so tiny and cold rested in his arms._  
  
_No. He didn’t want to look, but he didn’t have a choice. It was -_  
  
He trembled, the false memories bringing him close to vomiting. He threw the sheets off and dashed into the bathroom. Luckily, nothing came but tears, but he didn’t really want those, either.  
  
It was just a dream. Not real. Bad dreams had plagued him in the past, but not like this, not this vivid or revolting. With the way it danced behind his eyes, he couldn’t believe he’d almost forgotten it.  
  
The door opened. Akira stepped inside, holding their beautiful, alive, healthy though a bit small baby. He hadn’t noticed that the crying had stopped, but he rested calm in Akira's arms.  
  
Knowing that Akira was worried about him and deserved an explanation, Ryo collected himself the best he could, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. Then, he tried to speak as quickly as possible, like the shorter it was on his tongue, the less heart wrenching it would be to say. “I dreamt that the baby died.”  
  
His face softened. “Ryo, come here.”  
  
When he did, he handed him the baby, tiny and warm, then wrapped his arms around his waist from behind.  
  
“Look, he’s fine. Everything’s fine, I promise.”  
  
He gave Toshio a good look-over. The brighter light of the bathroom caught in his eyes, making their muddled gray appear almost lighter, maybe even greener. Kohei’s eyes had always been dark, so this honestly fascinated him.  
  
“Do you think he’ll have blue eyes?” Akira asked from over his shoulder. He must’ve been fascinated, too.  
  
“No, I’m sure they’ll get darker soon.” He knew enough about genetics to be sure that brown eyes were typically dominant over blue. And they didn’t exactly look blue, anyway.  
  
He felt a kiss on his neck, wet and tickling. “But yours are so pretty, Ryo. Wouldn’t it be nice if they looked like yours?”  
  
“It doesn’t matter what would be nice. It’s all genetics.” He sighed, leaning back against him. “Could you go see if Kohei’s up?”

He left him with one last kiss.

Ryo was alone again, but not really. And everything was fine.


	4. Shackles

Though the sun had set hours and hours ago, its heat still lingered when Akira slipped out of the apartment complex. He prowled along the outside of the building, hands shoved into the pockets of his hastily-thrown-on sweats.

Like many nights before, his wandering mind had filled the quiet of his room with disquieting thoughts. Now, he focused on propelling himself forward, the sound of his own footfalls, the heavy air of a night in the city.

But it couldn’t hold his attention for long, rage bubbling inside him. Though he enjoyed going on walks, they couldn’t answer the questions that drew his lips into a snarl, curled his hands into fists.

Why did Kohei exist? What use would the demon have for a second host? What exactly did that mean for the poor baby?

Without a way to ask, he was left uselessly fuming to himself, glaring at nothing.

*

Ryo texted his boyfriend, asking him where the fuck he went, and immediately heard a rumble from the nightstand.

He sighed. Of course he left it.

He spent a moment looking inside the crib, making sure Kohei was sound asleep, before leaving the room. He checked all the usual spots, the bathroom, the kitchen, the balcony, then made his way outside.

Akira had to be upset about something, and he’d surely find him skulking outside like a broody teenager. He was predictable like that.

Which was why Ryo nearly jumped out of his skin but certainly did _not_ make an undignified noise when he heard his name in the dark hallway outside the apartment.

Akira snickered at him, and he was about to snap at him when he was pulled into a warm embrace.

“What are you doing up?”

He leaned into it, anger fading away. “Funny. That’s exactly what I was going to ask you.”

He sighed, shifting his weight back and forth and moving both of them. His heart pounded and heat rushed to his face when he realized it was almost like they were slow dancing.

“I’m so fucking sick of this.” He sounded on the verge of tears. “I just want to know what’s going on, but that bastard won’t listen to me.”

“Do you mean Amon?”

His grip tightened around him, and after a moment, he nodded.

He hadn’t wanted to tell Akira this, or at least wait and look into it more before doing so, but if it could help . . .

“There’s a way we can ask him directly.” He felt Akira freeze, heard his breath hitch. “But it’s dangerous. There’s a chance you might lose yourself.” He pulled back to look at his face, and he could barely make out tear streaks and a determined expression in the dark.

He knew Akira was really hung up over this, and this could give him closure, but would it really be worth it? “Do you think you’d be willing to risk that just for some information from a demon?”

His answer came quickly, just as he expected. “We need to know if something’s gonna happen to Kohei, if things could get worse, if it could happen again, why it happened in the first place.” He met his eyes with an intense stare. “Tell me how to do this.”

~

The heavy-duty chains rattled as Ryo tied them around the bed posts, securing Akira in place. Since he’d probably transform if this worked, he lied naked on the bed.

Ryo doubted the chains would hold if something went wrong, so that wasn’t the only precaution they took. They dropped Kohei off at the Makimuras’, not wanting him anywhere nearby during this.

“Comfortable?” He asked with a smirk as he finished the last knot. Though it was for business and not pleasure, he couldn’t help but delight in this a little bit. With the baby gone, they could have all kinds of fun afterwards.

Akira looked away from him, pressing his flushed cheek into the mattress. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Keeping his voice calm and low, he described the sensation of falling asleep, of sinking down into a pool of water. He encouraged him to relax his arms, his legs, running his fingertips over each part, and to fall deeper and deeper with each stroke.

The plan was to hypnotize him, let his consciousness sink down enough for Amon’s to take over. Not long after Akira closed his eyes, he began to shift, features sharpening, expanding. His fur came darker, redder, more coarse than usual.

Ryo shrank back. It really did work. It would’ve been embarrassing and compromising if it hadn’t, but now he had to deal with one of the strongest demons alive, if his comrades were to be believed. He scrambled for the sheet of paper Akira had scrawled his questions on.

Akira’s, no, _Amon’s_ eyes shot open, pure white, and he immediately burst out laughing. Loud and raucous, chest heaving, fangs glistening, chains jangling.

After a few wheezes, he quieted himself, grinning dangerously despite the tears in his eyes. “You don’t know how much I’ve wanted to talk to the tight fucking pussy lover-boy over here won’t shut up about.”

“Mention my genitals again, and I’m bringing Akira back.” He wasn’t going to tolerate any bullshit. He didn’t wait for a response before glancing down at the paper and starting to read.

But Amon cut him off, reciting the first line word for word in a mocking whine. “‘Why did you make me rape my boyfriend, you sick fucking bastard?’” He chuckled. “Easy. I can’t resist a girl with nice tits and a willing body.”

He took a step closer. Sorry, Akira, but he couldn’t get through the sheet if the demon wasn’t going to behave.

Amon thrusted his hips up off the bed, making the bed frame creak. “You know you didn’t need these chains, right? I’d love to tear you apart, fuck the shit out of you, or both, but that kid has a stranglehold on me, even now.”

Ryo placed his hands on his firm thighs, forcing him to still. He wished he could slap that smug look off his face, but that would probably wake up Akira, and he was going to give this thing one last chance.

“Next question!” Amon barked, nearly startling him. “But it’s not really a question, since lover-boy isn’t that smart, is he? ‘Leave Kohei alone, you son of a bitch.’” What the hell did he think was so funny that he had to laugh after nearly every sentence? “Nope. Nuh-uh. Sorry, but he’s as much mine as he’s yours.”

Ryo’s blood ran cold. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh? Going off script?” He chuckled again. “You may have given him form, but I gave him life, and I saved it when you almost took it away.”

Fury shook his bones and narrowed his eyes. That was a deep cut, and the bastard knew it, positively beaming at him.

“What, did you think the baby saved himself? He’s a fucking baby! To answer another question, I can’t do much with him, now. Not when he hardly has a conscious to take over and can barely even crawl. But hopefully, he’ll be my ticket out of this fucking sap.”

He snarled, amusement fading from his voice. “Do you know how much time he spends screaming at me and trying to shackle me in place? He can’t keep it up forever, and you’re so fucking weak and incompetent that you can’t even protect your child in your own home.”

“You -”

“Nope! Still my turn! I -”

He straddled him the best he could then kissed him, both to shut him up and finally get Akira back. He was done with this long-winded fucking prick.

Amon returned it with fervor, moaning into his mouth and yanking on the chains, almost making him pull back. But after a moment, it was like something cut him off. Akira soon took his place again, lying still beneath Ryo.

“Akira?”

His eyes fluttered open, back to their gentle brown. Then, they squeezed shut again, and he groaned. “Fuck, I wish I could kill him.”

“Me too.” He leaned down and kissed him again. “It’s good to have you back.” He rolled his hips, making Akira gasp and shudder, quickly growing hard.

“Can’t you untie me, now?” He panted, thrusting his cock against his still-clothed ass.

“If you want out of those chains, you’re gonna have to do it yourself. I’ve been looking forward to this all day, Akira, and I'm not ending it that easily.”


	5. Black or Blue?

The yellow glow of suburban street lamps bounced through the interior of Ryo’s car. The neons of the city had long since faded away, and the Makimuras’ house drew ever closer.

Meaning the end of Ryo’s night with Akira drew ever closer, as well.

Though the demon-hunting thrilled him, made ecstasy course through him when his life was in danger or when seeing Akira transform and rip demons to shreds, his favorite part was the aftermath.

Akira sat slumped next to him in the passenger’s seat, flushed and panting, hands repeatedly tensing then unfurling at his sides. As they drove, shadows flitted over his newly-sharpened features.

He’d always been handsome, always had a certain boyish charm, but now . . .

Ryo certainly didn’t stare at his best friend. He definitely kept his eyes on the dim road and avoided doing anything that could tarnish their precious relationship.

Of course he cared about Akira. Hell, he was probably the only person he could trust with all these demons and fucking nonsense cavorting about. But he didn’t _like_ him, and even if he did, it would never be reciprocated. Not by a boy so sweet and genuine, with a thousand-watt smile and the weight of the world voluntarily hefted onto his shoulders.

He took one last puff of his cigarette before tossing it out the window. The Makimuras’ house laid just past one more turn. Akira hadn’t said much the whole ride over, probably trying to calm himself down, quiet the demon inside him.

When he pulled up, Akira shifted a little in his seat, likely eager to finally get some much-needed rest. Especially since he had school in the morning.

Since he’d already showered and changed into fresh clothes at Ryo’s apartment, he should’ve been all set to go. But he lingered a little longer, taking deep breaths with his eyes closed.

“Akira?”

He shook his head like a dog as if it would clear the demon from his mind then turned to him with a grin. “See you later, Ryo. Goodnight!”

He leaned over and hugged him, and Ryo hoped he didn’t notice how he flinched at the contact, pain flaring in his side. But, being Akira, of course he asked him what was wrong as soon as he pulled back.

He didn’t want him to worry about him, but he couldn’t bring himself to hide anything from him. “It’s nothing. I just knocked into something earlier.”

He stared at him for a second, concern washing over his face. “Why didn’t you tell me? Are you bleeding?”

“Like I said, it’s nothing. And I don’t think so.” Truthfully, he hadn’t even checked, too busy fussing over Akira and trying not to get killed by demons. Tripping and jabbing his side into the corner of a box was far from a pressing issue.

“You’re coming inside with me so I can check it out.”

Nope. No way. He’d never gone inside the Makimura residence, and he didn’t have plans to do so any time soon. Miki, with her peppy attitude and nosy questions, annoyed him sometimes, he didn’t care much for children, and he knew nothing about her parents and didn’t care to change that. But Akira looked at him so firmly and left him no room to refuse.

And he was such a pushover when it came to Akira.

He got out of the car with a sigh and followed him towards the house. But Akira stopped him before he could go up to the door.

“Wait. We’ll wake everybody up that way. Come on.” He beckoned him to walk over to the side of the house then stared up at an open window on the second floor. “I can get up there easy by myself. But, uh . . .”

Akira looked back and forth between him and the window. Then, his face lit up like he realized something. “Ryo, piggy-back ride!”

He took a step back. “There’s no way I’m fucking doing that. I’m going back to the apartment.”

“Come on, Ryo, please! It’ll be fun! And I wanna see if I can do it.”

Like the fucking pushover he was, he couldn’t say no to Akira’s big puppy-dog eyes. Reluctantly, he approached Akira who bent over and reached behind him to help him up. Questioning all of his life choices, he jumped and let himself be hoisted up onto his back.

“If you drop me, you’re dead,” he tried to say in a stern tone, but it probably lost its effect as he scrabbled for purchase on Akira’s shoulders.

He reared back. Wait, what exactly was the plan here? Was he trying to jump through the fucking window? There was no way they’d make it.

He dashed forward then leapt up, and Ryo squeezed his eyes shut. Air whipped around them, Akira’s grip tightened around his thighs. Then, with a jolt, a thud, then a stumble, he almost fell off.

Akira saved him, leaning forward, then gently let him down on . . . the roof? Relief flooded over him, his head not lopped off by a window pane, but confusion and anger quickly replaced it.

“Akira, I hate you, and we’re never doing that again. How are we getting through the window?”

He grinned as he made his way towards the edge. “Carefully.”

He insisted on having Ryo go first, gently guiding him to stand on the windowsill then slip inside. Immediately, something crunched underfoot. Probably a bag of chips, but it was too dark to see. When Akira followed and switched the light on, he revealed a room littered with dirty clothes and forgotten trash. All typical of a teenage boy, including the persistent musk of sweat mixed with some kind of masculine deodorant or cologne.

It should’ve been gross, but Ryo couldn’t bring himself to mind. It wasn’t like he was much better.

“The bathroom’s just down the hall.” After toeing off his sneakers, Akira slowly opened the door and crept out into the hall.

Ryo followed him and closed the door behind them. It was a little awkward being confined with Akira in such a small space, but wait. No it wasn’t. Why would it be? This was his best friend, and they weren’t doing anything weird.

“Where’d you get hurt?”

He pulled his shirt up just enough to show him a nasty-looking green and purple mark. “See? It’s nothing. Just a bruise. Can I go now?”

He paused before replying, seemingly thinking about something. “Ryo, it’s like two in the morning. You should probably just stay here.”

“Stay? Where, in your room?”

He nodded. “Yeah, why not? It’d be like a sleepover.”

“Fucking hell, Akira,” he hissed. “Was this your plan all along? A sleepover like little kids?”

“Well, I -”

“I don’t have permission to stay here, and you just have to go to school in the morning. What’s the point?”

He shrugged, a little sheepish. “Fun?”

Ryo sighed, resigning himself to doing this ridiculous bullshit despite his objections. “Fine then. What kind of fun will we have at two o’clock?”

He wouldn’t meet his eyes, staring down at the tiles. “I don’t know. Maybe this was a bad idea, but no matter what we’re doing, I always have fun hanging around you. Maybe this could be . . . nice or something.”

He flushed, staring at Akira.

And a matching flush burned over Akira's face. “I-I mean, if you don’t want to, you could just go home. But it’s late, and you’re already here, and -”

Ryo chuckled, cutting off his nervous rambling. He wasn’t sure why he was nervous, but fuck if it wasn’t adorable.

Heh. But fuck sounds like butt fuck.

He snorted at the thought, making Akira laugh, too. “I don’t have my toothbrush or P.J.s or a change of clothes, but sure. I’ll stay.”

*

Akira lied snuggled under the covers, trying to leave plenty of space for Ryo on his left, and waited for him to come back from the bathroom. He let him borrow a t-shirt and some pajama bottoms, and they’d probably fit since they were old.

But he didn’t expect the wave of possessiveness that crashed over him when he stepped through the door. Ryo, in _his_ clothes, enveloped in _his_ scent, padding over and slipping into _his_ bed.

Sure, he felt some kind of way about Ryo, but this was getting way out of hand. One of these days, this demon would fucking kill him.

He tried to push away his errant thoughts then whispered, “Goodnight, Ryo.”

A muffled “‘Night” came from the space beside him.

They weren’t even touching, so this shouldn’t have felt as nice as it did. But Akira found himself smiling into his pillow, heart thumping in his chest.

He hadn’t had a sleepover with Ryo in years and years. The memories of staying up together, refusing to go to sleep and messing around for hours, accidentally waking up his mom or dad with their giggling and being admonished and told to go to sleep, groggy mornings with a grumpy Ryo, he held them all dear. Grateful that he could live them out again and just be with Ryo, he closed his eyes.

 

His alarm went off at six, and after a few too many beeps, he reached for his phone. But something warm was tangled all over him, something wet on his shoulder.

He’d forgotten how much of a cuddler Ryo could be, grabbing onto him like he was a teddy bear and drooling all over him. Careful not to rouse him and incur his wrath, he shut off the alarm and lied back down with a sigh.

He needed to get up, but staying right where he was and appreciating how cute Ryo was before he’d wake up and turn into a foul-mouthed, crusty-eyed goblin was too tempting.

He brushed the messy bangs from his face, still soft despite a rough night followed by sleeping on them. He almost regretted it when his face twitched, and he turned and groaned into the sheets.

“Hey, are you awake?”

A wordless grumble confirmed it.

“You can go back to sleep if you’d like. I’ve gotta get ready to go.”

 

After a quick shower, he came back to find Ryo sitting up in bed, scratching at his head and tiredly glancing around.

“Do you have anything you need to do today?”

He glared at him. “Maybe, maybe not. But that’s none of your business.”

He sat on the edge of the bed, grinning at him in a way he knew would piss him off this early in the morning. “The Makimuras all leave pretty soon, so you could go down and have breakfast or something if you’re hungry.”

Akira moved over to check his phone real quick before going downstairs, and Ryo gave him an odd look.

“When did you start painting your nails?”

He glanced away from the phone and at his hand, barely a few black chips still clinging to his fingernails. “A while ago, I think.”

He liked painting his nails, enjoyed the feeling of doing it and the way it looked. But another drawback of transforming into a demon was that shifting his nails into claws ruined the polish. At first, he thought it would sound stupid if he explained all of that out loud. But Ryo was obviously curious, and it didn’t make sense to hide something so small from him. Especially when he cared about him so much.

He’d already came to terms with that fact, but that was much harder to tell him than concerns about nail polish.

Thankfully, Ryo didn’t laugh at him. But maybe it was still too early for him to laugh.

“What about you? Have you painted your nails before?”

He shook his head. They had plenty of time before school. Definitely enough to act on another stupid, impulsive idea.

“What if I painted them for you right now?”

“Right now?” That rotten morning mood reared its head again in the edge of his voice.

Akira purposefully ignored it. “Yeah, it’ll be fun. Come on.”

Somehow, he coaxed him into the bathroom and sat him on the toilet seat. He fished two bottles of polish out of the drawers, the only ones that were specifically his and not Miki’s. She probably wouldn’t be mad if he used hers, but he didn’t want to risk it, and Ryo probably wouldn’t want a color that bright, anyway.

He held the bottles up in front of Ryo. “Black or blue?”

Like he expected, Ryo immediately chose the midnight blue. After setting the black down and shaking up the blue, he took one of Ryo’s hands into his own, steadying it. He brushed the polish over his blunt nails in careful, practiced strokes.

He hadn’t painted anyone else’s nails before, and the gesture felt oddly intimate. But was it really more intimate than sleeping together?

Ryo’s hands used to be just a little smaller than his, but now, they practically looked like they belonged to a porcelain doll when compared to his more blocky and calloused ones. Not to say that they were fragile or all that small, just long-fingered and thin, like a pianist's.

Just when he’d started dabbing away the excess polish that had gotten on Ryo’s fingers, a few harsh knocks startled both of them.

“Akira! What are you doing in there?! You’re not the only one who needs to use the bathroom in the morning!”

Shit, it was Miki.

He exchanged a glance with Ryo.

“Akira, my car’s out front. They were going to find out, anyway.”

He had to admit he was right. After another moment, he opened the door and flinched when Miki exclaimed, “Wait, what’s _he_ doing here?”

Ryo scowled and opened his mouth, obviously ready to tell her off, but Akira put his hand up and spoke before he could get anything out. “We were messing around last night, and Ryo ended up staying over.”

Her expression went from angry to smug, a smirk curling her lips, and Akira had the urge to run right out of there.

“Messing around, huh? You should’ve told me he was _that_ kind of friend.”

“That kind of . . .” It took him a second to realize what she was talking about. He gaped at her, feeling his face turn red.

“Could you get out of the bathroom now?”

*

After changing back into his own clothes, Ryo drove Akira to school. Just Akira, even though he knew Miki attended the same one. But she hadn’t been ready when Akira was, and he didn’t really want her in his car, anyway.

His attention kept coming back to the dark blue of his nails. He’d never bothered with nail polish before, knowing that it would just chip off eventually. But maybe this did look nice, and it was Akira who did it for him.

Akira. He almost couldn’t bear to glance over at him. He was well aware of the compromising position he had woken up in, and Miki’s teasing had thrown his anxiety into overdrive.

 _That_ kind of friend. What, were they friends with benefits or were they boyfriends? Whichever she meant, he desperately didn’t want to discuss it with Akira. But he knew deep down that he couldn’t just ignore this.

There was no logical reason for him to be freaking out as badly as he was. Which meant there had to be an illogical reason. He had feelings for Akira, didn’t he?

But was that really so illogical? They’d known each other for such a long time, and he couldn’t deny that Akira was attractive, both physically and mentally.

Admitting that to himself made him want to curl into a ball and hide away forever. Ryo was inherently not a good person. It was just a fact of life. He was stupid and always fucked things up, and he was messy and weird and not good with words.

Akira deserved someone who complemented his warmth, someone nice who could make him feel good. And that couldn’t be Ryo.

He stopped in front of the school. He looked at Akira, waiting for him to leave, but he was met with a tender gaze that almost sent shivers down his spine. How in the world was he allowed to affect him this much?

“Thanks, Ryo. For staying last night. I had a good time, and I hope you did, too.”

He shrugged, looking away and trying to hide his burning cheeks.

Akira leaned over, as expected. A goodbye hug like usual. But after warm arms wrapped around him, something brushed against his cheek.

Did he just . . .

Ryo pulled back from him, stunned. Fudo Akira just kissed him on the cheek?!

“Bye, Ryo. See you -”

Before he could rethink it, he grabbed his shirt collar, tugged him closer, then kissed him for real, brief but electric.

After they parted, Akira rushed out of the car, stammering another goodbye.

Oh fuck. Why did he do that just after berating himself and concluding that it would be a bad idea to get involved with him?

Fuck, fuck, fuck. He was going to ruin this somehow. Hell, he might’ve already ruined it just by doing that. Were things going to get really weird between them?

Actually, things were already pretty fucking weird.

_Would you like a side of kissing with that demon-hunting, sir? Or would you rather have a side of sharing a bed? Or nail polish? Or laughing over nonsense? Or doing stupid things at two in the morning?_

_Oh, you want all of it, and even more?_

_That’ll be ¥3,000. Have a nice day!_


	6. Not Part Of The Plan

On a Friday night, Miki sat on the floor of Akira’s bedroom. Some cartoon softly played on the TV, but her attention was more focused on the baby idly messing with a stuffed bear nearby.

Akira and Ryo went out on a date or something, and she wasn’t busy, so she offered to watch him. However, she wouldn’t let them pay her for babysitting. She loved her almost-nephew, and it wasn’t like it was a bother.

At seven months old, he seemed rather quiet and even-tempered for a baby, content to just chill with her.

Miki had always been good with kids. They took to her bubbly disposition and her willingness to go along with whatever silly thing they wanted. But Kohei was a little too young to want much other than attention, and she was more than happy to oblige while his parents were away.

But when Kohei set the bear down and crawled over to a little board book laying on the ground, she had to repress the urge to sigh and toss it away again when he brought it back. He’d already made her read it five thousand times, but she couldn’t deny him such a simple thing.

She opened it only to pause and look back at the baby.

“Kohei, do you have a dirty diaper?”

She tugged at his little pants and confirmed her suspicion. After changing him, she would probably give him a bath then put him to bed. That’s why she came to the apartment instead of taking him to her parents’ house. In case Akira and Ryo stayed out too late, Miki could put him to sleep somewhere that already had all their supplies.

After grabbing the wipes and a diaper, she picked Kohei up and laid him down on the bed. As she finished, he tried to grab at the package of wipes. Moving it out of his reach ended up upsetting him.

“Aw, come here. Nothing’s wrong.” In an attempt to comfort him, she picked him up again.

Wait, why did she put another diaper on him if she was about to give him a bath? Oops. She moved to set him back down again and undress him, but the whimpering started back up. Maybe he just wanted to be held for a minute.

She bounced him a bit, hoping he’d calm down, before trying again. Unfortunately, he still didn’t want that. In fact, this second attempt seemed to make it worse. She was about to situate him comfortably again when something brushed against her arm. Something . . . fuzzy?

*

In the heat of battle, Akira didn’t notice a dip in his demonic power until he stumbled, almost earning himself a nasty blow from the demon currently fighting him.

His adrenaline-filled blood froze in his veins. Was something wrong with Kohei? He didn’t want to think about the last time this happened.

But, it wasn’t like he could rush home without taking care of these fucking demons, so he threw himself back into the battle, desperate to finish this as quickly as possible.

*

She couldn’t help but jolt and scream, scaring the baby, too. It had to be a centipede or some other horrible bug. She set him down only for the feeling to disappear.

She would’ve been relieved, but that just meant the bug was somewhere else. But checking the floor and the bed, it was nowhere to be found.

She scooped the baby back up into her arms. “I’m sorry. I must be going crazy.” She let out a nervous laugh, rubbing his little back.

Near the bottom of his shirt, something tickled her fingers. The bug?!

She flipped him around fast to find something dark and fuzzy poking out of the waistband of his pants. It waved back and forth as he cried, no legs or bug-like qualities at all.

In fact, it looked like . . .

*

Ryo’s phone vibrated in his coat pocket. His first thought was to ignore it and keep an eye out for any more demons or other bullshit. But it could’ve been Miki. There could’ve been an emergency at the apartment.

Cursing, he slipped away into a dark alley nearby before answering the call, which did turn out to be her. “Miki? What -”

“Ryo, what the absolute fuck?!” Something was definitely wrong. She sounded pissed, or maybe freaked out.

He tried again to ask her what was wrong, but she didn’t leave him room to cut in, ranting about the baby and a bug or something? At the mention of a tail, he nearly dropped the phone.

There goes all their years of secrecy, all the shenanigans they had to pull, all the lies they had to tell. All of it down the fucking drain. He thought about banging his head on the brick wall in front of him but decided against it, knowing it wouldn't help anything.

A commotion. Akira’s roar resounded down the alleyway.

“Miki, I have to go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“But - !”

He hung up, shoved the phone back in his pocket, and readied his gun once again. Now, he had an absolutely wonderful conversation to look forward to. One that he definitely wanted to have. One that wouldn’t be painful or annoying or frustrating. One that absolutely did not ruin everything.

Never had he wished more to be able to echo Akira’s roars.

*

“Ryo, do you think we could hurry? I think something might be wrong at the apartment.”

He laughed, grip tightening on the steering wheel. “No fucking kidding, huh?”

Confused, he stared at him, fidgeting in his seat. “Ryo?”

He didn’t meet his eyes, staring out at the road. “Miki called. She said the baby had a fucking _tail_.”

That wasn’t good. That really, really wasn’t good.

“Shit,” just about encapsulated his feelings on the matter.

That single, crude word lingered in the air between them, the car falling into a tense silence. Akira leaned back, closing his eyes and letting dread wash over him in waves. “There’s no beating around the bush, is there? We have to tell her.”

“And then what?!” Ryo snapped. “This was _not_ the fucking plan!” He sighed, and Akira stole a worried glance. “I never wanted to drag a bunch of people into this shit. Nothing good can come out of it.”

Akira paused for a moment, trying to figure out how to word his thoughts. “Kohei wasn’t in the plan either, but didn’t that work out?” He gave him a look and rubbed his arm in an attempt to reassure him. “Trust me, everything will be fine.”

 

And he wasn’t wrong, for the most part. With the baby sound asleep inside, the three of them sat in the car for some privacy. She may have been angry that they kept so many secrets from her and shocked about the nature of those secrets, and she may have screamed a little when Akira transformed in front of her, but it could’ve gone worse.

Ryo didn’t say much. A few times, he chimed in to correct him, but he mostly stared down at his hands, turning his lighter over and over, running his thumb up the side of it or flicking the button on top. He didn’t smoke often anymore, but tonight would probably be an exception.

Akira wanted to pull him close, calm his anxiety, and prevent him from rummaging around for a pack of cigarettes, but he didn’t need to.

He excused himself in the middle of the conversation, muttering something about checking on Kohei.

After seeing off Miki, stressing once again to keep this a secret, he ran off after him. He found him stomping up the stairs to the apartment, hands firmly shoved in his coat pockets.

“Ryo, are you alright?”

He ignored him until they were back in the apartment. He paused, tears in his eyes, before saying, “Just give me a minute.” After seeing that the baby was alright, he flopped onto the couch with a full bottle of wine.

Though Akira sorely needed a shower, he sat next to him and put an arm around him. “You’re not drinking all of that.”

That earned him a sideways glance as he twisted off the top. “Watch me.” He downed a gulp of it before Akira gently pried it away from him and set it to the side.

He pulled him closer, rocking him as he whispered into his hair. “It’s gonna be alright. I promise. We’ve made it this far, haven’t we?”

A muffled hum in response.

“I love you, okay?”

Another hum, but Akira didn’t mind.

He kissed the top of his head, more than content to sit with his best friend, his partner in crime, his wonderful lover pressed warmly against his side for the rest of his life. Or at least until he calmed down.


	7. Brighter Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This would've been uploaded yesterday, but I didn't do my research and made a HUGE mistake. Because that mistake was tied to the premise of this, I had to change a whole lot. So, I'm giving you some deleted scenes at the end, just because I love you guys!

Why the fuck did graduation have to be so early in the morning? Couldn’t they have held it in the afternoon, the evening, or even at night? Then Ryo would’ve been able to sleep in on this godforsaken Saturday instead of rushing around to get ready at seven in the morning.

Technically, they didn’t need to be ready this early. The ceremony started at eleven. Hell, he and Kohei couldn’t even attend it, seeing as the family seating common to Western graduations simply wasn’t present. But Miki just happened to be graduating, too, meaning all kinds of family came to celebrate. And, of course, they invited them over for a big breakfast. Sure, they’d probably give Akira graduation money and gifts, but they could’ve just as easily gone out to lunch or something and did the same.

After Ryo finished brushing his teeth, almost vehemently spitting the toothpaste into the sink, he made his way over to Akira’s room to see if he’d done as he asked and put the baby’s shoes on.

He paused at the doorway, crossing his arms. It hung open, giving him a clear view of Akira messing around. At first glance, it looked like he was playing ring-around-the-rosie with Kohei, but he sang a different song.

“Steamboat, steamboat, go so slow.” He could hear the grin in his voice as he lead Kohei in a circle.

“Steamboat, steamboat, go so fast!” He picked up the pace, making Kohei giggle.

“Steamboat, steamboat, pick up the gas!” He lifted Kohei up a little and spun him around, both laughing.

Ryo walked into the room, trying hard to keep a straight face. “Steamboat, steamboat, put your shoes on. We have to go.”

Akira looked over. Neither of them had shoes on, and his collar was a little skewed. “Sorry, uh, he wanted to play steamboat.”

“Boat?” Kohei reached up, trying to take Akira’s hands again.

Cute, but he had none of it, backing up and saying, “No, not again. Daddy’s gonna throw up.” He bumped into the bed and exaggeratedly fell backwards onto the mattress. “Oh no! You got me!”

Funny how Devilman could survive attack after attack from demons and be bested by a toddler. Barely two years old, he could certainly be a menace at times, but Ryo had a feeling that wasn’t the only thing going on here.

“Yeah, I’m sure it was the baby's fault.”

 

Ryo found it hard to stay awake in the car, the thrumming of the engine and warmth of the heater lulling him to sleep. And if he fell asleep, he wouldn’t have to think about how he’d have to talk to people he didn't know, how he’d have to make a good impression on these people he’d likely have to see again, since they were practically family.

Unfortunately, the thought kept him restless, but for once, the rational side of his brain won out. He could do this for Akira. Today was his day, and not only that, he’d be with him for most of it, an easing presence at his side.

The forecast said there was only a 20% chance of rain that day, but the sky faded more and more gray as the car drove on. Today would’ve been a great fucking day for it rain, wouldn’t it? At least he wasn’t the one who had to be stuck outside for a nonsense ceremony.

When they made it to the Makimuras’ house, Ryo adjusted Akira’s collar one last time, sticking his tongue out a little. “How do you keep messing it up?”

He pulled away from him, trying to flatten it, himself. “I dunno. Why do I have to look nice, anyway?”

Technically, the ceremony didn’t have a dress code, but the school had suggested that formal attire was most appropriate. Instead of reiterating that, Ryo threw some nonsense at him. “It’s the thought that counts, Akira. It shows you’ve worked hard and care about this.”

“Hm?” he sneered. “Is that why you wore a t-shirt and sweats to your graduation?”

He gave him a pointed look. “I took a million IBs and graduated two years early. I’m allowed to not give a -” He glanced back at the napping toddler. “- to not care.”

 

Inside, uncles and aunts and cousins and all manners of relatives bustled around the house, clumping in the kitchen and the living room. Ryo didn’t understand how so many fucking people could be awake and coordinated this early. He stayed close to Akira, who knew more people than he did and acted as a sort of anchor. He held Kohei, not quite ready to let him wander off on his own, as people fawned over the toddler.

He was glad the attention was on Kohei and not himself.

“The real thing’s a lot cuter than the pictures on Facebook!” said some older lady with her hair tied back.

Ryo deleted his Facebook account ages ago, not seeing the appeal of the site, so it took him a second to realize what she was talking about. He knew that Akiko and Miki shared pictures of him online, often with inane captions.

He wasn’t entirely comfortable with having pictures of his baby floating around in the ether, being seen by who knows how many total strangers, but it couldn’t hurt that much, right?

Breakfast itself turned out to be pretty good, as is usual with breakfast food. Bacon and eggs and waffles and pancakes. However, no matter how hard he and Akira tried, Kohei refused to eat anything other than bits of strawberry and banana slices.

“Baby, you’ve gotta eat real food,” said Akira as he moved a bite of pancake towards Kohei's mouth.

“No!” Little hands pushed it away yet again.

“Akira, you know that fruit _is_ real food, don’t you?” Miki chimed in with a laugh. She looked nice in a white hakama adorned with pink flowers, but hopefully she had a jacket or something to throw over it and ward off the chill. It should’ve been spring, but it sure as hell didn't feel like it.

Holy fucking shit. Why was Ryo thinking about that? Maybe he really was turning into a functional adult, a more-adult adult. Or maybe just a fucking grandma.

As expected, people gave gifts to Akira and Miki, more to the latter than the former, of course. Along with warm congratulations and laughs all around, it was mostly just cash and gift cards. But Miki’s maternal grandmother gave them both boxes of sweets, instead. Ryo had no doubt that Akira’s would be decimated by the end of the weekend.

Oddly enough, she gave him one, too. He started to mumble something about having already graduated, but she just smiled at him, knobbly fingers drumming on the table.

“I’m allowed to spoil you if I want to.”

He liked her, already.

 

Since Akira drove them over to the Makimuras’, Ryo drove them over to the school. He wished he could just crash when he got home after this, exhausted after just one morning of nonsense, but he still had a baby to look out for. For now, he pulled into the school parking lot and waited for Akira to get out.

But, for some reason, he hesitated. “Hey, do you wanna walk over there with me?”

“Why? You’re the one that knows where to go, not me.”

“I just . . .” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’d just like to hang out with you a little longer, if that’s alright.”

 _If that’s alright._ Fuck, it was like they were nervous teenagers rather than married adults. But Ryo couldn't say it wasn’t endearing.

So, after Miki texted something about being stuck in traffic, he and Kohei accompanied him through the campus. There wasn’t much conversation, but there didn’t have to be. A sense of peace flooded from the warmth of Akira’s hand intertwined with his own, filling his body and making him so, so glad that he’d made it long enough to see his days grow brighter.

Not that today was very bright. Glancing up at the sky, a fuzzy, gray blanket stared back at him, swathing the earth in soft shadow. Assumedly not the whole earth, just their tiny patch of it, but that was all that mattered at the moment.

When they made it to the clearing where the commencement would take place, they reluctantly parted ways. A quick kiss, a few promises to see each other later, a hug with the baby, and that was it.

On the way back to the car, a fat raindrop struck his head. For a second, he thought it might’ve been birdshit, but it was just water when he checked.

He picked up the pace, making sure Kohei could keep up, and cursed internally when he felt a few more plop down, saw the sidewalk become peppered with dark spots.

Maybe the rain wouldn’t get too bad. Maybe it would stay a drizzle then pass on by, not becoming an inconvenience after all. But wishful thinking couldn’t halt the forces of nature, even when you’d left your umbrella in the car.

The rain poured down with a vengeance, as if it knew it wasn’t wanted and hated Ryo specifically. He scooped Kohei up and ran the rest of the way to the car, not wanting to be caught in this for long. Especially when it was achingly cold, seeping through even his thick sweatshirt.

As he buckled Kohei into his carseat, he froze, almost cursing aloud. Akira didn’t have a sweatshirt or an umbrella or anything. He was stuck out there getting drenched in a fucking suit.

Hopefully, they moved the ceremony inside, but somehow Ryo doubted it. He didn’t trust this school for a second, and he soon resigned himself to taking matters into his own hands.

Briefly, he thought about leaving Kohei in the car, but that sounded like a horrible idea. So, umbrella in hand and toddler in tow, he made his way back to the clearing as quickly as he could manage.

The wind whipped icy cold rain against him as his feet pounded against the pavement. It sucked, but Akira was probably just as miserable as he was, and, as he’d realized over and over again, he would do just about anything for him.

*

Rows of white chairs sprawled before him, like tombstones peeking from the grass. They were even occupied for the most part, though their occupants rested on top of rather than below them.

The connection was morbid, and Akira quickly pushed it away. Graduation wasn’t the end of the world. Hell, it was far from it. No more school, no more homework, no more essays.

Well, the first two parts wouldn’t be true if the school he’d been shadowing at hired him, but he’d never have to write another essay in his life. That felt amazing.

Adulthood wasn’t as scary as he’d thought it would be as a teenager. Sure, some could argue that he hadn’t experienced true adulthood yet, only now getting out of school. But he had a baby and a job and so many entailing responsibilities, so he figured he was adult enough. Instead of being impossible and frightening, he had Ryo, he always had help, and he was surrounded by people he loved. It was a pleasure, even when it got hard or overwhelming. It was his life, the only one he’d get, and he’d try his damnedest to enjoy it.

One thing he couldn’t always enjoy was the rain.

The commencement was supposed to take place outside, and then they’d head in to get their diplomas along with their departments. They said they’d speed this part up due to the weather, but the rain proved to be faster.

He shivered in his seat, taking his suit jacket off so he could hold it over his head. He felt bad for the girls who’d worn pretty hakamas and gotten their hair and makeup done, but looking around, most of them had more foresight than him and Ryo, taking along umbrellas and sparing themselves from getting drenched.

Thankfully, Ryo and Kohei were safe and dry in the car, heading home since a friend had offered to drive him back after the after party.

Someone came up to the podium and gave a rushed speech, but he barely paid attention, distracted by the pelting rain and his damp, clinging clothes.

But then, something caught his attention. Someone sidled down the aisle, sopping wet and immediately familiar, then stopped in front of him.

“Ryo, what are you -”

He set down Kohei then popped open an umbrella, the big, black one he knew was shoved in the trunk of their car. The rain drummed on top of it, and below stood his husband, shaky and out of breath, eyes wide and unsure.

“I thought you’d need this.” He offered it to him, and he took it with both hands, enveloping Ryo’s cold hand with his own.

Tears welled in his eyes, struck yet again by how much he loved him, touched that Ryo had been so worried about him. “You should’ve gone home. I would’ve been fine, I promise.”

He felt a tug on his pants then pulled Kohei onto his lap. “Hey there!”

The little thing pressed closer to him, making him laugh a bit.

“Long time, no see, huh?” He brushed the wet bangs from his little face then stood up with him.

He nudged Ryo then started leading him away from the seating area. “I’m gonna take you to the car then come back to get my diploma, alright?” He was pretty sure he remembered which building he was supposed to go to, and if he didn’t, he’d figure it out.

He nodded, holding the umbrella a little higher.

When they’d gotten far enough from the clearing, he nudged him again, an indication to pause for a moment. “Thank you, Ryo. I mean it.”

“It’s no -”

He leaned down and kissed him. He revelled in the small gasp it drew out, the way his lips were cold and damp against his own. If he could, he would’ve kissed him again and again, kissed him until both of them were senseless and drunk off of each other, but both of them had things to do, places to be.

So, they continued on their way.

 

(B-B-BONUS)

The forecast said there was only a 20% chance of rain that day, but the sky faded more and more gray as the car drove on. If it rained while he sat outside in a stupid plastic chair surrounded by idiots, and if some higher power really did exist, Ryo was going to sue God Himself.

~

Ryo and Kohei ended up sandwiched between Akiko and her mother. Soon after situating the toddler on his lap, he heard the distinct sound of velcro coming undone.

He instantly knew what it was. “Baby, please keep your shoes on.” He removed Kohei’s little hands from his shoes and redid the straps, only for him to try prying them off again.

Ryo had to repeat the action more firmly, quickly growing frustrated. “It’s cold. You’re gonna want those on.”

When he started squirming and whimpering, Ryo pulled his arms out of the sleeves of his overlarge sweatshirt, slowly lifted up the bottom, then tugged Kohei inside with a triumphant noise. If he couldn’t stop him, he could at least distract him and warm up those little hands.

“Gotcha!” He laughed, tickling him beneath the sweatshirt before taking his hands and rubbing them warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, and Miki and those other girls wearing hakamas and not kimonos wasn't a mistake. It's customary for girls to wear hakamas in bright patterns for graduation because they're associated with scholars or something like that. Thanks for reading!


	8. A New Candle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning!
> 
> This one talks about some pretty heavy shit, death and stuff, so tread with caution.

“Akira, you can’t drive like this. Pull over.”

He wiped his face with his sleeve, his leg not on the gas restlessly bouncing. “I’m fine, I just . . .” He kept his voice quiet, probably so he wouldn’t disturb Kohei, fast asleep in the back, but it shook regardless. “I just need a moment.”

“That’s why I’m asking you to pull over, so you can calm down.”

With a sigh, he relented, and their car idled by a field, burned verdant green by the late-afternoon sun. But the tears soon came back.

Ryo glanced back to find Kohei still asleep then turned his attention back to where it was needed most. He took Akira’s hand, thumb rubbing circles into the side. “Do you wanna talk or just cry it out?”

He nodded, which didn’t indicate which option he chose until he said, “Ryo, I don’t even remember my own grandparents. I was too little when they . . .” He didn’t finish, swallowing hard and staring out at the road.

They were headed west, to a small town in Okayama. Akiko had been going back and forth from there since her mother’s condition worsened some time last year.

The Makimuras had taken Akira in as their own. Honestly, Ryo and Kohei, too. That’s why it hit so hard when -

“She wasn’t my grandma, but it really felt like it, and -” He sniffled, and fat tears rolled down his cheeks. “It just sucks.”

That made sense, seeing as he’d known her since he was little, becoming a sort of adoptive grandchild. He’d told him a lot about her. She spoiled him along with the Makimura children whenever they visited, letting them stay up late to watch movies and eat ice cream, going on fun walks in the surrounding countryside, taking them out to the city or the zoo or Okayama Castle.

Sure Ryo was sad, too, but he didn’t know her that well. They’d met at a few family gatherings and such, but those weren't often, she didn’t live close by, and she’d been sick for most of the time he’d known her. Apparently, she’d refused to move out of what had been her house with her husband, even as her health deteriorated, and her eldest had been taking care of her there.

After some time quietly comforting him, Akira seemed just about calm, but he knew he was still pretty upset, as was natural.

“Hey.” He nudged him. “Do you want me to drive?”

After shaking his head like he was dismissing the thought, he responded quickly. “No, I can do it. And besides, you’re pregnant.”

And pregnant he was. A month before his due date, there was no hiding it, the gravidity of his stomach announced it loud and clear. “That doesn’t mean I can’t drive. Get out.”

Finally, he cracked a little smile. “But you’re like _really_ pregnant.”

“And whose fault is that? Either get out or get a move on, already.”

“That was a joint decision, and you know it,” he grumbled before pulling out onto the road again.

Kohei stirred in the back, and before he could say anything, Ryo turned and told him, “Sorry, baby. We’re not there yet, but we will be soon.”

*

A small, almost flat-looking house near the top of a hill. Yellowing grass, a rickety old fence. The sight of it almost got Akira choked up again.

The plan was to drop by, say hi to Miki and her family, pay their respects, then head over to Miki’s Uncle Shun’s house to stay the night before her tsuya in the morning. They’d stay the next night, too, then attend her funeral proper.

Akira had a feeling this would be a long weekend.

He helped Ryo out of the car, which became more of a hassle than it should’ve been. At first, he had none of it, glaring at him and trying to brush him off, but he eventually accepted it with no small amount of chagrin.

“I love you, and I appreciate your help, but I don’t need it,” he said, straightening the sleeves of his jacket. His clothes were loose and comfortable, suiting his current state.

Akira felt bad that he’d have to change into something nicer and less comfortable later, but Ryo had insisted on coming, and he was well-aware that it would’ve been impossible to convince him not to.

They made their way past a collection of other cars that had gathered nearby then entered the house. A somber mood hung over the house like a fog, thickening the air and condensing into tears.

Although the occasion wasn’t quite the ideal circumstance to see some relatives again, it was still nice to see them, offer hugs and condolences.

“Akira!” Miki came up from behind him, almost taking him off guard. Her makeup was eaten away by tear streaks, but she smiled and hugged him tight. “I’m glad you made it,” she said into his shirt before pulling back and looking towards Ryo. “And you and Kohei, too, but I thought you -”

Something about the look on his face must've stopped her right in her tracks, since she paused and chuckled instead of finishing. She hugged them, too, and after greeting the rest of her family, including her wife (He honestly couldn’t believe it had taken so long for her and Miko to get married. He at least thought they’d have gotten married before him and Ryo, but life could be pretty funny, sometimes.), the time came for the moment Akira had been dreading.

He knew saying goodbye to Hiroko would be tough, so at least this wouldn't be his only chance. He guided Ryo and Kohei down a familiar hallway. Her bedroom door hung open, and he waited for the previous visitor to leave before walking in.

At first, Kohei refused to follow, lingering at the doorway and staring down at his feet.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked him, hand placed reassuringly on his shoulder.

He peered past him at the bed, lip quivering and brow furrowed. “But isn’t she -” He hiccuped a little, nearly crying. “- dead?”

“Yeah, but that’s alright. Her ghost’s not gonna get you.” He poked him in the side, making like a ghost attack, before taking his little hand.

Slowly, he approached her bedside. “You don’t have to go all the way if you don’t want to. If you’re nervous, you can go back with Dad.”

Ryo hung back a little, which was totally fine and not out of disrespect or anything, and Kohei pulled away to join him before they made it.

She laid still under her own blankets, and a white sheet covered her face. He shivered as he knelt down, the room kept cold by ice. There was a lot he wished he could tell her, but he figured that “Thank you, Grandma,” covered most of it.

*

Ryo didn’t appreciate the odd glances thrown his way by the Makimuras and Maedes.

“Oh! Sweetheart, you’ve gotten so big!”

He was not that woman’s “sweetheart”, how big he was was none of her business, and she could shove that sympathetic gaze right up her ass.

In fact, it was nobody’s fucking business.

He’d gone back to the hospital for check-ups much less frequently than recommended. If he’d went more often, neither Akira nor God Himself could’ve stopped him from socking that fucking ob/gyn into next week.

During his first meeting with him, he weighed him, measured both his height and the circumference of his waist (which seemed pointless since he wasn't even showing yet), then used his BMI to calculate a chart of how much he should weigh over the course of his whole pregnancy. Like, a real fucking chart plotted with little red dots showing exactly where he should be at each point.

He had the gall to say, “On each of these dates, add your current weight in black, and try to stay close to the red dots.”

Then, he proceeded to ask him about his diet and request that he write down everything he eats from then on in a little journal so they could help adjust it and catch whenever he went wrong. The thought of actually complying with it made him feel sick. Nothing about it sat right with him, not the part about paying so much attention to what he shoved in his mouth, not the implication of doing things “wrong”.

The doctor must’ve caught the look on his face, since he said, “We don’t want that baby too big, do we? But maybe you don't have to worry as much. You’re only half Japanese, correct?”

He nodded, unsure of what his parentage had to do with his weight.

“Japanese women are small. They have to keep their babies small, or they’ll have a lot of trouble with the -” He scrunched his face up and grunted.

Was that supposed to be a joke? Ryo certainly didn’t laugh.

There was no way all Japanese women were so small that it made child-bearing difficult. If that was true, how the fuck had the nation survived this long?

So, Ryo was left fuming at yet another comment about his pregnancy, this time from Miki’s aunt, the one they were staying with. It was an innocent question about when he was due, and Maede Shun and Satomi seemed nice enough, but he mumbled the date and excused himself to go to the bathroom.

He took a deep breath, glancing at himself in the mirror. Nothing was wrong. He had no reason to be this upset. He was just being stupid, and he’d probably made Akira worried, and maybe he’d been so rude that he’d hurt these people’s feelings, and -

He took another deep breath. These thoughts weren’t going anywhere, and they certainly weren’t going to help anything. He just needed to calm down, go back out there, and pretend like nothing happened.

And he succeeded in doing so. The rest of dinner flew by without another hitch, and soon enough, it was time for bed. Since their only daughter lived in the States and couldn’t make it, they had an open room, but as it turned out, the bed was pretty small. Just big enough for one of them and Kohei.

“I’ll sleep on the couch, alright?” Akira told him, and he didn’t dare argue.

~

_After a long night of demon hunting, Akira’s stomach growled loud enough for both of them to laugh at, so Ryo stopped and got some fast food. They sat in the parking lot, working their way through burgers and fries. Neon light trickled in through the windows, music softly played on the radio, and a tired ache hung behind Ryo’s eyes._

_A different ache burned his throat and the roof of the mouth when he first started eating, making him wince and tear up a little, and he hoped Akira didn’t notice. It soon faded, like usual, but he didn’t dare say the reason why out loud._

_Truth be told, it was the first time he’d eaten all day._

_A lull in the conversation. An amiable silence. He took a sip of his soda, trying to push away thoughts about how he was falling apart, how the world was crumbling along with him. It seemed like their future only got darker and more uncertain, and there was no one who could tell him what to do or how to fix it._

_At least, not anymore._

_He caught Akira giving him an odd look and realized he’d shrunk into himself and away from him, tugging his jacket closer, pulling his feet onto the seat, tensing his shoulders._

_“Ryo?” he said, voice soft and concerned. “Are you -”_

_“Yeah.” He tried to relax, resume a more normal position. “Yeah, I’m fine.” But he couldn’t quite meet Akira’s eyes, and the stuffy air of the car felt suffocating._

_“You know you suck at lying, don’t you?” he said, and it shouldn’t have surprised him. He knew him too well._

_Akira smiled at him, warm and comforting, and something about the gesture ignited his roiling emotions. His chest threatened to collapse in on itself, and he covered his face with his sleeve to prevent tears from dripping down._

_“Ryo? Can you tell me what’s wrong?”_

_In theory, he could. His vocal cords were functional, he could open his mouth and make words come out. But it hurt. Everything fucking hurt, and he felt more alone than he ever had before, and he just wished . . ._

_His arm was gently pried away from his face, and Akira looked at him with those stupid puppy dog eyes, and he couldn’t hold it back any longer._

_“I couldn’t - I didn’t - I didn’t even go to his funeral.” His whisper sounded loud in the small car._

 

Lying in an unfamiliar bed, sleep not coming fast enough, he still regretted it. Of course he did.

Other than Akira, his dad had been his best friend, his closest confidant. Ever wise and resourceful, he always seemed to know what to do, even when he really didn’t. He saw the best in Ryo, even when he couldn’t see it, himself.

And now, he couldn’t even pay his respects to his grave. He hadn’t wanted to be buried, even wrote it down, but Ryo’s maternal grandmother had his ashes buried with his mother in fucking Canada. If he had the money or the patience, he’d do everything in his power to change that. But that crone was probably dead by now, and the process sounded like an absolute nightmare.

He shifted to look at Kohei, gravid stomach slowing the movement. The little thing lied curled on his side, facing him. His dark hair splayed over the pillow, his chest gently rose and fell.

People always said he looked like Akira, and it was certainly true, but maybe there was something Asuka in the curve of his nose, or the flare of his ears, or the cupid’s bow of his lips. Maybe if they introduced him to his father’s side of the family, they’d all say he looked like him.

He reached over and stroked his cheek, touch feather-light to avoid rousing him. The tears welling in his eyes finally spilled onto the sheets.

“He would’ve loved you so much.”

*

The early morning sun drenched the world in pale yellow, and a cool breeze drifting through a window or open door made him pull Ryo a little closer. They and most everyone else at the funeral were waiting for the immediate family to finish paying their respects before getting their turn.

Like yesterday, a priest at the front chanted while one by one, they walked to the front of the room, took a pinch of incense, held it to their forehead, dropped it into a burner, then bowed to Hiroko’s photograph, situated in an arrangement of flowers.

But today, when that was over with, they all placed the flowers in the coffin. They moved to where she’d be cremated, and while the staff did that, they enjoyed a large meal together. Through it all, Akira felt a step away from reality, colors and noises bled and blurred around him.

It wasn’t that this was the worst loss he’d ever endured, it just felt so strange after such a long period of peace and quiet, after so much time spent preparing for a new little life. But nothing could stop bad things from happening, stop life from moving on.

The ceremony ended with everyone working together to move the remaining bits of her bones into an urn using chopsticks. Thankfully, Kohei had grown a lot less nervous and didn’t need much coaxing to participate.

 

On their way back home, he heard Kohei’s little voice ring out barely louder than the music, trying to get Ryo’s attention. But his eyes were closed, head lolling a bit to the side.

“Baby, he’s resting. Is it something you can ask me?”

It took a moment, but he affirmed it then said, “Is Dad having a baby because Grandma Hiroko died?”

His breath hitched a little. Of all the questions he could’ve asked, he didn’t expect that one. “No, of course not. Not _because_. People are born and people die all the time, and that’s just the way it goes.”

Akira had to admit there was a sort of logic to what he’d asked. The assumption that everything’s connected, the idea that when one life fades, another directly takes its place. In a cause-and-effect situation, a new candle is lit, and before it’s snuffed out, it’s picked up to light another.

But real life is almost never that simple. The world is cruel and arbitrary, and cause-and-effect can’t explain everything unless you take into account thousands of causes and millions of effects.

But that didn’t mean it was pointless. In fact, the frightening nature of the world was all the more reason to add more love and joy to it. At least, that’s what Akira always tried to do.


End file.
